Leave the Judging to the Judges

Leave the Judging to the Judges 

Yesterday we had the honor of spending some time with a local competition dance team and had an information session with the parents of the dancers. Dance competition is similar to pageantry because it is a subjective grading sport. So the questions the parents had regarding the mental game for dance are very similar to questions I have been asked by pageant parents over the past several years.  I'll cover two of them quickly today.

Comparing Self to Others: In pageantry as well as dance or any other sport where you are graded on your individual ability there is a chance you will be tempted to compare yourself to the competition. Ask yourself this question: Who is given the job of judging this competition? Judges have a job to do - don't do it for them. Comparing yourself to the competition is not your job! Your job is to execute what you have learned. Your job is to HAVE FUN! Your job is to enjoy the process of showing your skills - the skills you have trained so hard to master. Your job is never to judge the other participants. That job belongs solely to the judge.  

See, comparing yourself to someone else takes the focus off of you and onto something you cannot control. You have no control over what another person does or how well they prepare or even if the judges like someone else better. Challenge yourself to focus ONLY on what you can control. 

Negative Talk After Performance: The owner of the studio mentioned that sometimes dancers will come off stage and talk about how terrible they did even if they did well, how can the parents and instructors help them focus on the positive?  Quick answer is to change the way you talk to them. Train your children and students to be solution based thinkers. Train them to always focus first on what went well by asking specific questions. What did you like? What was fun? What did you learn? Do not get caught up in their self-pity over a poor performance or allow them to elaborate in detail on how bad they did instead teach them to think differently by leading the conversation in a positive direction.

These are the type of questions we cover in our training in detail. We help our clients to change the way they view their environment and most importantly how they talk to themselves. The quality of your performance does not solely depend on how well you train. Your training only covers 1/3 of the mental processes nessecary to succeed. Training builds the Subconscious Mind and we want the Subconsious to perform. But performance is a function of 3 mental processes not one. So unless you control your Conscious Mind and you build your Self-Image, training alone is not enough. Our goal is to help our students understand how to manage all 3 mental processes. A well balanced performer has a better chance to win. 

Heather Sumlin
Heather@mentalmanagement.com

Product recommendation:  Mental Toughness for Pageantry Audio CD Set.

Interview with Anastagia Pierre, Miss Bahamas

Anastagia Pierre!

-Describe your first pageant experience.

My very first pageant experience was when I was about 5 years old! Off the record, it was the farthest thing from ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’. My mom curled my hair with sponge rollers and I remember feeling so glam! I wore an emerald green taffeta and velvet party dress. My question was “What’s one thing you can’t leave the house without” and I said “My glasses, and sometimes when I forget them at home, my mommy brings it to me at school”. Everyone laughed and cheered for me. I placed in the top three! I got a crown, a sash and $100! It was then that I fell in love with Pageantry.

-How have you used Mental Management in your training?

My first time using Mental Management training was in 2009 at Miss USA. I attended the Mental Toughness for Pageantry workshop in Dallas with Heather and Lanny, and it did wonders for my confidence. Mental Management helped calm my nerves under pressure, and gave me a much more of a consistent performance. It also explained to me how important it is to have a balanced self image, sub-conscious and conscious mind. I definitely competed at Miss USA (and Miss Universe) in the “Triad State” and I owe it all to Mental Management.

-Do you have a favorite “Mental Management” quote, story, book, etc.?

My favorite book is definitely “With Winning In Mind”. It’s a short read, but it has a powerful message. I always recommend it the girls that I coach. It puts you in a great mental place while preparing for competition. I could spend all day sharing my favorite excerpts from the book, but one that works in all areas of life is, “to get what you want, you have to get rid of what you don’t want”.

-Can you share a personal story of how you’ve used Mental Management?

Well I tend to use the anticipation, action, and reinforcement training a lot during competition. Before I go into the interview room I say to myself “These judges are going to LOVE me, because I’ve worked hard for this and because it’s ‘like me’ to give a killer interview” and right after I step out of the interview room I say to myself “That was exactly the way I wanted it go. I did my very best!” For me, positive feedback and self- reinforcement is key, otherwise I start to beat myself up over little things.

-How has Mental Management helped you outside of Pageantry?

It has helped me to understand the importance of being balanced in all aspects of life. Mental Management taught me the principles, tools, and techniques that aid me in reaching my goals with confidence, and without frustration.

-What is the best advice you can give to a new competitor?

The best advice I can give to a new competitor is to fully allow yourself to grow and learn from the experience, no matter what the end results are.

-What surprised you most about competing at Miss Universe?

I think the biggest surprise was how down to earth a lot of the girls were. I think one huge misconception with international pageants, especially at this high level, is that everyone is super cutthroat and mean, and that’s not necessarily true. As a national titleholder, we all understand that its not as glamorous as some people think. Holding a title is a huge responsibility. Its not always easy, you will have to make sacrifices, and everyone has an opinion about you even if they’ve never met you. It’s nice to be around a group of girls that “get it”. I made so many wonderful friends at Miss Universe. It was also pretty surprising that I was able to survive nearly a month in Brazil with an average of 3-4 hours of sleep every night!

-Can you share any good “back stage” stories?

Minutes before I walked on stage for the preliminary competition at Miss Universe, I had a “run in” with the wardrobe lady about my gown. The lady made me so angry that it nearly brought me to tears! Miss Belgium, one of my best friends, saw and heard the whole thing and gave me a hug to try to calm me down. Then she pulled a bead off of her dress and handed it to me, she said “Here, I know you’re going to be fierce out there, no matter what that lady says! You look stunning! Take this bead for good luck, so that when you win Miss Universe, you’ll win for Bahamas AND Beligium.” I thought that was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me, especially at a pageant.

-Compare your “teen self” with your “current self.” What do you see as the most significant change?

I’ve learned to trust myself and my instincts a whole lot more. I’ve also learned that it’s impossible to please everyone, so its important to do what make YOU happy. My current self is a lot more secure and comfortable. Most of that change came with age and experience, because as a teen I was very insecure and I would always second-guess myself. I used to let those message boards and blogs really affect me. These days they don’t bother me at all. I actually think it’s flattering in way.

-So now that you have pretty much conquered the Universe.... What is next for Anastagia Pierre?

Well the most important thing to me at the moment is to finish out my reign as Miss Bahamas Universe as strong as I can. I plan to be a lot more active in my community and work with organizations that support my platform of crime prevention and conflict resolution. I’ve been modeling since I was a teenager and I plan to continue with that for as long as I can. But I graduated last May with a Bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism so my next goal is to start working in my professional career. Right now I work as the Station Host at NBC Miami and I have a beauty and lifestyle segment that airs during the morning show. My ultimate goal is work on the Today Show or Good Morning America. I know that I can do anything I really set my mind to, so I’m confident that it will happen.

For more details on how you can train with Mental Management call 972-899-9640, email heather@mentalmanagement.com or visit our website http://www.mentalmanagement.com

Briana Bolton - Interview

Briana Bolton

My Mental Management Story 

Describe your first pageant experience.

My first pageant experience was exactly that… “a first”. I can honestly compare it to a baby when he or she learns to walk. There was a lot of stumbling, uncertainty, excitement and (of course) disappointment. I walked into the pageant world and went straight for the big one, Miss Texas Teen USA! Let’s just say I jumped head first… but I learned how to swim at the end. I was unhappy with the outcome of the pageant (my placement/not placing), but it taught me that anything worth having is worth fighting for. My first pageant experience was the reason I sought for help and found Heather Sumlin of the Mental Management system.

How have you used Mental Management in your training?

Mental Management was my only pageant training for many years. It has changed the way I look at competition, prepare and focus. It taught me how to rebound, how to focus during competition time and so much more. The interview training has been absolutely excellent. It put me at a level where I excel during interview and make a strong, connection with the judges.

What Mental Management program did you attends?

I attended several Mental Management programs! So many I can’t count. But beyond the programs, the private sessions with Heather are remarkable. The private sessions can help you strengthen your weakness and even increase your strengths more.

Do you have a favorite “Mental Management” quote, story, book, etc.?

My favorite Mental Management book is With Winning In Mind by Lanny Basham. The book leads you into the “before”, “during” and “after” parts of competition. It teaches you principles to apply to pageant and other competitive sports.

Can you share a personal story of how you’ve used Mental Management?

I’ve used Mental Management since 2008, almost immediately after my first pageant. I competed in National American Miss Texas Teen and I was first runner up. I also placed in several other NAMiss state competitions. Later that year I returned to Miss Texas Teen USA. I won swimsuit, Miss Congeniality and placed 2^nd Runner Up. The following summer, I competed in National American Miss Texas Teen again and I won crown their Miss Texas Teen. I also placed in various additional NAMiss state competitions. The Mental Management training was an instant change. I saw improvement immediately after diligently training with Mental Management.

How has Mental Management helped you outside of Pageantry?

It has given me an understanding of what preparation is, how to train for a task and how to “be” during a task. It is the mathematics to your pageant problem, which can be applied universally to any form of competition or mentally strenuous task. P=MM² Pageant= Mental Management squared. The more I used it, the better I became in pageantry and other tasks I applied it to.

What is the best advice you can give to a new competitor?

Use Mental Management! It is your first pageant or you are still suffering from pageant jitters. You probably have a general idea of how things are, but you need to have someone one with extensive knowledge of this industry. Go to HEATHER! Go!!! And after you go to her, apply what she has taught you. Application of new concepts is the key to succeeding when you want to go to the next level.

What surprised you most about competing at your state and/or National pageant?

I’ve competed at state and national levels. I think what surprised me was the level of talent. Everyone was just as smart, accomplished, beautiful, and well dressed! Everybody looks glamorous. But what I learned was the separation factor. What separates the 90% from the 10% (contestants who placed) had to do with preparation and how they handled the pressure. That’s where Mental Management comes in!

Share your most embarrassing “Pageant Moment” and how you overcame it.

My most embarrassing pageant moment … uhh do we have to go there!!! Honestly I have plenty of embarrassing moments. But my most embarrassing moment was when I spilt my makeup all over my swimsuit, with less than 2 minutes before walking on stage for swimsuit competition at Miss Dallas USA. I tried to wipe it off. The chaperone tried to wipe it off. I even asked if anyone had a backup swimsuit. We used soap, water, paper towels and tide pens! But the stain did not come off. So with only seconds left, I took my sash and two safety pins. I pinned the sash on my swimsuit over the stain, slapped on some butt glue and walked out like nothing was wrong. I still placed :) …talk about Mental Management!

Can you share any good “back stage” stories?

My all time favorite “back stage” story comes from my first pageant (lol the one I didn’t win or place). Right before we went on at Miss Texas Teen USA, the choreographer comes out and tells us directions, words of encouragement etc. Then his assistant comes by. Her name was Felicia. She says something like this (paraphrased): Everyone be quiet; we are going to pray. For those of you who don’t pray just be quiet to respect those who do.

Her prayer touched my heart. I still say it to this day during competition and training. Her prayer went something like this (paraphrased): There will only be one winner who will wear the crown of Miss Texas Teen tonight. Lord, help us to be happy for her and to have the right spirits when she wins. But Lord the most important crown, bigger and better than any crown is “your crown of Glory”.

It helped me to realize there are bigger, better, more victories beyond pageants. Yes this is a goal of mine. Yes this is my heart’s desire. But if I don’t win, let me honor the person who did.

Compare your “pre-Mental Management self” with your “current self.” What do you see as the most significant change?

Myself now can run circles around who I was pre-Mental Management. I am more confident. I am more assertive. I am more focused than I’ve ever been before. And what’s so wonderful is that I’m happy and not stressed out during/before/after competition. There is no stress. I walk more freely, because I know that my foundation through Mental Management and God are strong. I no longer worry about the outcome of the pageant and I simply focus on the process. I can honestly say I am doing my very best work, with less effort than ever before. That doesn’t mean I don’t work hard…because there is sacrifice (ask the cheesecake I haven’t touched in 5 weeks). But it means that as a competitor, I have more assurance in myself, my abilities and everything else is NOT in my control. God has blessed me with peace of mind when I compete so it’s just fun! I am certain that my preparation with Mental Management has put me at my best level possible.

What is next for you?

I plan on traveling the world soon and pursing my career in Broadcast Journalism. As for pageants they are not on the back burner. I plan on competing still. Pageantry is my passion!

(Briana has attended private training with Heather Sumlin as well as Interview workshops and the Mental Toughness for Pageantry 1 day workshop with Heather Sumlin and Shilah Phillips, Miss Texas America 2006 - for more information on Mental Management training for pageantry please email heather@mentalmanagement.com or call 972-899-9640)

Mental Toughness for Pageantry Audio Download Now Available

Mental Toughness for Pageantry is an Audio CD or Download for the pageant contestant who wants to gain a mental edge in competition and learn how to control her mind under pressure. This is the same information Heather Sumlin teaches in her Mental Management for Pageantry Classes!

Perfect fit for Teen, Miss and Mrs. contestants as well as parents of contestants.

This download includes over 3 hours of information specific to pageantry.

This Audio Program Includes:

• How to apply the Mental Management System to pageant competition
• How to think before, during and after each phase to improve your chances of performing your best under pressure
• The Goal Getting System
• Special Interview section
• Special section for parents/directors
• Much more

Many people ask - how does this Audio compare to "What Every Pageant Contestant Should Know First About the Mental Game" - that was the first step - this is the rest of the journey! Mental Toughness for Pageantry is everything I think a pageant contestant should know about the mental game not just what comes first! This new audio is also over 3 times as long!

Feel free to call 972-899-9640 with any questions or ORDER HERE.

Living Life Like a Champion by Heather Bassham Sumlin

Recently this blog post was submitted for a blog contest through Brian Tracy's website and I was excited to find out it was picked as an "Honorable Mention" article. The only way to win the contest was through votes but my article was chosen due to it's content and being powerful and inspirational. They had over 500 entries so this really is an honor for me. Below is the article and I posted it here because I think the message is important for anyone striving to succeed in pageantry. This article is based on teachings from my Father, Olympic Champion, Lanny Bassham.

I grew up with an Olympic Champion as a Father. As a kid I didn’t realize how rare Olympic Gold was and how few people actually achieve becoming the absolute best in their field. I know what winning looks like and I realize it takes hard work, dedication and motivation to achieve success. But until the last few years I never took the time to appreciate how important my Father’s lessons are to my life. Today, I realize that not only are the lessons relevant to my goals in life but my journey to personal success has been made easier by the teachings my Father raised me to believe.

His lessons are fairly simple and here are three you can implement today:

“Determine a Dream Worth Trading Your Life For” When my Father was in college his grandfather was dying and these are the last words he told my Dad before he passed. “I never did anything a typical man couldn’t have done. I never forced myself to step outside of my comfort zone and try something scary or unknown. I regret that. Determine a dream worth trading your life for, because you are!” Every day we are trading our lives for something. We are heading down a path toward something; make sure it’s something you really care about, something exciting, something worth trading your time and your life to achieve. Make your days on this earth count and matter by stepping outside your comfort zone, forcing yourself to get uncomfortable and daring to live your dreams.

“Giving it 110% is a sure way to lose!” WOW! Everyone I knew outside of my family believed you had to give it 110% to be successful but the Olympic Champion who raised me said otherwise. If you give it all you’ve got and focus on winning or on the outcome only, you are pulled to over-try. The number one reason good performers fail in competition is because they try too hard, it matters too much and they focus on the results not the journey. Try putting more than 100% of the water needed to fit in a glass, it will overflow and you have a mess. Same thing with effort, too much makes a mess!

“Discipline Yourself to Become a Solution-Based Thinker” Looking back on my childhood I realize that we didn’t dwell on problems in our family. My father forced us to focus on what we needed to do differently, not what we did wrong. This method of correction helped to shape my self-image as a young child and truly created a positive outlook on life. My daily goals became attainable because I was focusing on how to make things happen and not what went wrong. I never heard my parents argue about why things couldn’t happen or discuss their misfortune. I only heard talk about how they were going to make it possible. We were encouraged to dream, to find solutions to our problems and to think outside the typical box everyone else was dwelling in.

I live in the same world as everyone else. I know times are tough and people are struggling. I realize that life is not all roses and rainbows but growing up I was told that there is nothing realistic about winning an Olympic Gold Medal. Life is not about being realistic or ordinary. Life is about taking the time to step outside of the ordinary and striving each day to do something new, become a better you and live your passion. So determine your dream, give it just enough effort to make it possible and focus on solutions when the problems head your way. Live the life of a Champion because although your dreams may not be Gold, they are worth striving to achieve.

Heather Sumlin is a Mental Coach and Director of Performance Programs for Mental Management Systems. Mental Management was founded in 1977 by Olympic Champion, Lanny Bassham. We teach athletes, business professionals and stage performers how to gain a mental edge in competition. www.mentalmanagement.com

Twitter @HeatherSumlin

Email Heather (heather@mentalmanagement.com)

Snow and Ice Leads to Inspirational Brainstorming

Snow and Ice Leads to Inspirational Brainstorming I've seen snow and ice storms before and as a kid I remember one winter where were got 18 inches in Seguin Texas where I grew up. But I don't remember a time when we were out of school for 4 days in a row. I told my 14 year old son not to expect this again so enjoy your unexpected vacation from school. Working from home over the snow week allowed me the opportunity to have some meaningful conversations with people who inspire me. I had the honor of talking to Cathy Lemkau Herd the other day. She was 1st RU to Miss America in 1993 as Miss Iowa, today she is a mother of 3 and a pageant coach. Brain storming with her is always fun and gets my mind racing on new ideas. After talking to her I was energized and excited to complete some projects I have been working on. I relate to Cathy very well and consider her as someone who is positive, motivated, self-driven and inspirational. I should talk to her more often. I also had the pleasure of talking with a friend of mine from high school, Jun Lee. Jun's brother, Eun-chul, was a student of my Father's for many, many years and he even won an Olympic Gold Medal using Mental Management. As a competitive golfer Jun was on her way to the becoming a successful Professional player when an injury cut her career short. What is inspiring about Jun is she never talks about the disappointment she felt when her goal was unrealized and she has never commented on her injury in a negative light to me. She took it as an opportunity to head down a new path. She became a designer, using a talent she knew existed but hadn't had the time to perfect. She is one of those people who wakes up every morning happy, with no regrets and never complains about life but looks for the positive in every opportunity. When I talk to her I am motivated to focus on my goals, I'm inspired to dream big and take on new challenges. I took the time during snow week to have meaningful conversations with people who inspire me to be a better me. By doing this I am building my self-image. I am becoming an even better version of myself. I'm a positive person but I still need to be inspired from time to time. We all do. Is there someone you would like to talk to this week to inspire you to dream big, see your value, focus on your goals, etc.? Could be a family member or close friend but I also want you to think outside the box and pick someone you haven't talked to in a while. Someone you respect and is a positive influence on you. Someone you can brain storm with about your future, your goals, your preparation for pageant, your platform, your career ambition. Someone who will help you dream big and inspire you to see opportunities in the challenges that come your way. If you don't know who that person is for you, find one - or two or three. You are always growing, always changing and always becoming - it is the people you have meaningful conversations with that help speed up that growth. Are you focusing on moving forward, or are you stuck in a rut? Think about it - make a list of people who inspire you and make a point to reach out to those people when you need inspiration. By Heather Sumlin 972-899-9640 heather@mentalmanagement.com http://www.mentalmanagement.com (feel free to email me with comments and questions) Posted in the February Pageant Newsletter from Mental Management - www.mentalmanagement.com to sign up

Determine a Dream Worth Trading Your Life For! Lanny Bassham

This article was posted in the January issue of MENTALCOACH monthly email newsletter. In the new 3rd Edition of With Winning in Mind Lanny tells a story about his grandfather which is a great prelude to our goal setting topic for this month: My grandfather was a mail carrier in the central Texas town of Comanche. As a young teen I loved to help him deliver mail out in the county because he would let me drive. Granddad taught all his grandkids to drive a car. He did not seem to mind if we ran over things and his old Ford sedan had the dings to prove it. He made us feel grown up and there was always a Dr. Pepper and a bag of peanuts as a treat at the end of the route. When I was in my first year in college he had a heart attack while visiting us. It was something he was not able to overcome. At the hospital we were all allowed some private time with him and I knew it was probably the last time I would be with him. As I sat down next to his bed he gave me some sound advice that has been with me all of my life. "Lanny, as I face the end I regret that I've never done anything in my life that a typical person couldn't have done. I always made the safe choice, never taking a risk. I've never been out of the state of Texas. I've never competed in anything, joined anything or built anything. I've done a good job of dodging the perils of life but in the process I missed a part of living! Don't let the caution keep you from experiencing life. Go out and find a dream worth trading your life for because in the end, that is what you are doing. Set big goals. You do not want to end up regretting your life." That was the last thing my grandfather said to me. Everyday you are trading your life. Once a moment is gone you will never get it back - you traded it for something. Each moment you spend in anger you could have been spending in happiness. Every moment you spend not believing in your ability, could have been a moment spent pursuing your dreams. Determine a dream worth trading your life for. Determine what you want to accomplish in 2011. Your life is being spent one day at a time whether you are working towards a goal or not. You are always trading time for something. Make it count this year. Focus on the things you want to improve and get started today. What are your goals for this new year? What is the dream you possess that is worth trading your life for? Make sure you go past simply writing the goals down - take the time to work through the Mental Management Goal Setting System to have a better chance of obtaining your goals this year. (this goal setting system can be found in the book "With Winning in Mind" - the new audio version of With Winning in Mind 3rd Edition Lanny has added more information on this topic)